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Winning Friends and Influencing People


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So you want to be a smooth operator, eh? Or maybe you just want to be more effective at carrying on conversations and directing them to get what you want out of them. Well, you’re in luck! Over the years I’ve done a lot of talking… and even more listening.

The result?

Some hard-won tips gleaned from countless interactions.

People love to talk about themselves.
It sounds so simple, but it’s critical to understand and remember. With very few exceptions, people are generally all too happy to talk about themselves. You can get amazing information from people just by asking!
 
On a basic level, it comes down to the fact that we all want to feel liked and wanted. So if someone’s asking us about ourselves, we unconsciously assume that person likes us or wants to know more about us.You can use this fact to your benefit in countless ways. A couple useful examples:
  1. If you don’t want to talk about yourself, or if you don’t like the direction the conversation is going, just start asking the other person questions. You can totally shift the focus of the conversation, and often you’ll get lots of useful info in the process.
  2. Make someone feel good about themselves by asking about what’s going on in their life.
  3. Learn something new about someone life, job, experience, history, personality, etc.

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