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How Men Think

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Right. We get it. But for the most part women still don’t seem to understand how men think. (Then again, we don’t always understand ourselves, either.)

So we’ve established that men think very differently from women. But what the hell does that mean for you women in the real world? Well, below are several hints for the ladies out there to better understand men.

Now some of these observations you’re going to have a hard time believing. After all, given where you girls are coming from, it’s hard to imagine that men are really just as simple/conniving/gross/insert-adjective-of-choice-here as I make them out to be. But trust me. I’m a guy. I hang out with other guys. I know how we think.

Most of the time, girls are way too forgiving of guys when they don’t really deserve it. And conversely, they’re also way too hard on guys when we don’t deserve mean treatment, either. So here’s a little insight into the way we think. And for you dudes, you can check out the equivalent tips about women.


Men are always thinking about sex
I know. You’ve heard it so many times before that it’s a cliché, and you have a hard time believing it. But ask yourself why you’ve heard it so many times. Um, hello? Because it’s true!
Ok, so sometimes we do think about other things like work, sports, and beer, but most of the time we’re thinking about how to get laid. What’s that you ask? How could we have possibly ruled the world for centuries, built empires, run countries and made fortunes if we’re so obsessed with sex? It’s not easy, I’ll grant you, since unfortunately we have two heads and only enough blood to operate one at a time. But somehow we’ve managed to make it work. Plus, perpetuating patriarchal rule and getting laid are not exactly mutually exclusive. In fact, they go hand in hand.
After all, when was the last time you saw a world leader or financial titan who couldn’t get laid (no matter how gross or sketchy he might be)? Achieving world domination only helps us get what we really want - women.

If you don’t know why a guy is being so nice, it’s because he wants something from you.
I could have retired long ago if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a woman talk about how some guy she hardly knows went out of his way to do something nice for her and how she thinks that must make him an inherently nice guy. Let me tell you something, ladies. With very few exceptions, if a complete stranger goes out of his way to do something very nice for you, it’s generally safe to assume that he’s interested in you, or at least wants to get into your delicates.
Sounds pretty cynical, huh? Yeah, well, welcome to the twisted male mind. Actually, it’s not twisted at all. It’s completely straight. As straight as a railroad track. In fact, you could even say it’s a one-track mind.
By the way, the same goes for guys in the “friend” category. Unless this friend loves Madonna, appletinis and smooth-chested pool boys named Raul, you can be pretty sure that he’s got some level of interest in you. And if he’s consistently doing nice things for you, that’s a definite clue.

Don’t believe me? Rent When Harry Met Sally.

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